Potential
Puppy Owner Test
Author: Joy Henderson
Carder, Cardercrest Kennels
' Strength and Honour' joy@competitor.net
Are you
truly ready for a dog? This is a test that
every Potential Puppy Owner (PPO) must pass and, after passing,
will be given a license to begin learning about the breed
of their choice.
No physical
force, yelling, or cursing is allowed during the test. Protective
clothing or soil-proof clothes are not allowed.White pants
and blouse are recommended. Small wounds and
scratches are to be handled in a blase' manner.
Tests will be held in a variety of environments ( muddy
puddles, dusty roads etc: ) and PPO will enter with a happy
face.
Any PPO
seen wiping dog hair or saliva off their clothing will not
pass.
The
tests:
PPO must control a highly stimulated 10 month old puppy. PPO
must be able to get the dog to do a down in two minutes. Flat
buckle collar and nylon lead only.
PPO must stand between a 14 month old Golden Retriever
and a field. The handler of the puppy will then throw a
ball directly into the path of
the Golden. PPO must stand their ground and smile as they are
pounded into the ground.
PPO must serve dinner to 6 rottweiler puppies, not older
than 6 months and not younger than 4 months. Puppies
will not be held in any stay position. PPO must not spill
the food.
PPO must quiet 4 Shelties, or 6 Pomeranians, when the
doorbell rings. PPO has two minutes. Puppies must have
been handled previously by a
breeder immune to the noise who lived in the middle of nowhere and
was relatively uninterested in anything but money!
PPO must
hold their ground with 10 Jack Russels chasing an animal
they perceive as prey. PPO must hold their leashes
and not move more than 6 inches. No corrections may
be issued, but PPO is welcome to try to distract them by
saying no..no..no..doggy!
PPO must
walk 2 Great Danes on ice. PPO must not move
more than 100 feet by his or her own volition.
PPO must
play with a Newfoundland after the dog has been swimming
in a pond. They must attempt to dry themselves with
a dishtowel and at no time appear disgusted or angry.
PPO must leave 3 Huskies alone in their home filled with
family heirlooms, uncrated, for 3 hours.
PPO is allowed to cry upon return.
PPO must
groom an adult male collie, blowing coat completely within
25 minutes including ears, nails, teeth. The dog
can have been recently
bathed to give PPO a fighting chance.
PPO must
fit a Basenji into a winter coat within 5 minutes. Basenji
cannot have worn a coat before.
PPO must
removes thistles from an English Setter by hand with a
fine-toothed comb.
PPO must
exercise a Viszla that has not been out for 2 days. PPO
must not tire out before the dog.
PPO must sleep in the same room as a bulldog who has eaten
large amounts of broccoli and beans and not place a pillow
over his or her head..
.
PPO will navigate through 10 small dogs without stepping
on one.
PPO must
be able to secure a good supply of used plastic bags within
3 days.
PPO must
be able to successfully get a dog to throw up in a plastic
grocery bag while in the passenger seat of a car.
PPO must
not die of shock when they get the vet bill for neutering
a Mastiff.
PPO must
vow to nurture, love, train and care for their dogs for
the rest of the dog's life. PPO must accept that
each dog is an individual which needs to live in a pack. PPO
must vow to educate themselves about the breed of their
choice and requirements expected. PPO must vow to obtain
his dog from a reputable shelter or rescuer. If they obtain
one from a breeder, they must visit the facility and walk
through the whole place. No delivering the pup in the living
room.
Furthermore PPO must conduct themselves in a responsible manner, securing
liberties for the rest of the dog-loving community. PPO must
remain
good-humored and remember that for every insane, tough moment there
will be a hundred more good ones.
Above
all, PPO must become the person their dog
thinks they are.
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