Rosh Hashonah Humor: A Rosh HaShanah Dog's Tale

A Dog In The Synagogue

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(Please refer to the dictionary below for words you do not know.)

It's Erev Rosh HaShanah (**), and services are about to begin. The synagogue is packed. As the congregants are milling around, shmoozing (**) before services, everyone seems to be distracted by a man who has brought with him his beloved dog.

"What chutzpah! (**)" an elderly woman whispers aloud. Services begin, and everyone is fascinated by how well the dog behaves. The next morning, the man and his dog arrive early and promptly begin dovening (**). This time, the dog is wearing its own little tallis and yarmulke (**), and even appears, upon closer inspection, to be shuckling (**) back and forth as the hazzan (**) intones the prayers. The congregation is amazed.

The week goes by and Kol Nidre arrives. The solemn worship service begins. The man and his dog are back, and this time, just as the hazzan (**) is about to begin the prayers, the dog stands up on its hind legs and howls "Ba-ROOOOOOOCH....! (**)" more melodically than the best hazzan. After the service, everyone is clamoring to meet this man and his remarkable dog.

Finally the rabbi comes up to him and says, "That's one talented pooch you have there. You know, you should really consider sending your dog to Rabbinical school."

The man looks down, shakes his head, throws up his hands in disgust and says, "YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"

Dictionary by LadyHawke

** Erev Rosh HaShanah - All Jewish Holidays start the night before. (Remember "And there was Night and there was Day?") Erev means "the night before."

** shmoozing - mingling

** chutzpah - having guts, audacity.

** dovening - praying

** tallis and yarmulke - articles of religious attire

** shuckling - swaying back & forth while praying.

** Kol Nidre - another Jewish Holiday, Erev Yom Kippur

** hazzan - leader of the service, usually the elder of the congregation.

** Yom Kippur - The Day of Atonement

** shul - synagogue

** mechitza - a curtain dividing men and women in Hasidic and Orthodox synagogues.

** Ba-roooch - Most of prayers in Hebrew start with "Baruch...," which means "Blessed..."

** Shofar - a ram horn blown during Rosh HaShanah services.

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