In Memory of Caryn Amy Shalita1968-2005 Joe DiMaggio Hits Torah Portion Out of the Ballpark Last week’s Torah portion is the story of Joseph and his being sold into slavery by his brothers. Joseph’s slave master, Potiphar, eventually develops so much trust in Joseph that he makes him overseer of his flocks and household. Potiphar’s wife saw Joseph as a handsome and desirable man and was constantly putting the “make” on Joseph for an intimate encounter. Joseph continually refused her advances. The Rabbis ask, why? Was it because of external consequences (punishment if caught) or internal conscience (having a true moral compass) or a combination of both? The rabbis in general come to the conclusion that well grounded moral values were the major reason for Joseph’s behavior. Rabbi Neal Katz in his commentary on this Torah portion wrote: “In Judaism, we embrace and promote values that lead us toward righteous behavior. Jewish values are not innate: rather they are acquired through study, prayer, and love of Torah.” I think he missed one other reason. We emulate those values that we see performed by the actions our teachers, heroes and role models. A few weeks ago Emily (my wife) and I went to a funeral of a 37 year old daughter of a first cousin of mine. We had never met Caryn, but out of respect and support of my cousins, her father and uncle and their wives, Emily and I attended the funeral. As customary at funerals the rabbi asked people to come up and tell about their relationship with the deceased. Usually three or four people get up and speak. At this funeral there were dozens. There were blacks, whites, Asians, orthodox Jews, Catholics and Protestants. One couple came in from Amsterdam. All spoke of their love of Caryn and her love of them. One Protestant girl told that on the day she met Caryn she was invited to the Seder that Caryn and her husband Richard had each Passover. She intended to make a brief appearance and make an excuse to leave. She said she stayed until the wee hours of the morning and has been at every Seder since the first one she attended. After the funeral, Emily and I were sorry we never got to know Caryn in person although we did fell we know her through the comments made at her funeral. We asked each other, “What make a person such a good soul to have so many loving friends.” Surely upbringing by parents, religious leaders and teachers have an influence, but what else? The answer came when I went to Caryn’s web site. She was an aspiring actress who had her resume and also her thoughts on her web site. The following was on the web site and was written a few years before her death. “I was lucky enough to have my life intersect with Joe DiMaggio's in a way that I will forever treasure as a truly special moment.Joe was given an honorary degree from my university on the day that I was getting my real one. Now, I'm not a big sports fan, and really could care less about baseball, but Joe DiMaggio had always intrigued me. After all, here was a man who was married to Marilyn Monroe for less than a year, yet brought flowers to her grave on a consistent basis after her death. What kind of gentle romantic soul would do that I wondered? What kind of capacity for depth of caring must that kind of man have--and I started to think that Marilyn must have been pretty dumb for letting him get away. So when on this day, the day of my graduation from college, I actually had a chance to meet this man, how could I possibly resist adding such a great memory to an already special day? He offered to take a picture with me since cameras were out anyway, and then warmly gathered me and my mother (who was standing right next to me) close to him with strong arms and a firm hold that defied his age. When Joe realized that the person who was taking the photo was my father, he insisted on us all posing for another shot so my father could be included too. As my father moved into position, a very telling thing happened, and it is for this reason that this moment stands out to me as one to be remembered. An elderly lady was walking down the steps just across the way from us, and despite being next to the railing, and I believe holding some sort of cane, she was having a little bit of trouble. How many home runs Joe got in his lifetime I couldn't tell you. But I can tell you that upon seeing this lady struggling with the stairs, a gentleman known as Joe DiMaggio politely excused himself for a moment so he could escort this lady safely down to the bottom. At that moment, I saw the kind of life lesson that they don't teach in college, or sadly, in most of the things that comprise daily modern life. A genuinely warm guy, and a real class act. A gentleman sports hero, in a way that the majority of today's top athletes couldn't even approach. It was the perfect reminder of what I wanted to be when I grew up coming at the time when those issues were foremost in my head. And it is for this reason I was glad to know him, if but for a moment.”
|